G | Rottentomatoes.com Rating:49% | 2000 |
(Extremely mild innuendo) | Picky Flicks Quote: "By rights The Kid should be dreadful. Surprisingly enough, it often soars to heights of not bad." -A.O. Scott, New York Times | RUNTIME: 1 hr. 44 min. |
Visit:www.screenit.com for complete details | Movie Mood:  Childlike |
The phrase, “Somebody call the waaaaambulance” is used no less than three times during Disney’s The Kid. It might sound like it would get pretty darn annoying by that last time. But oddly enough, like many other elements of The Kid, it (kind of) works. High praise, indeed, huh?
Well, the truth is that The Kid is hardly a work of movie art. It’s much too clichéd and sticky-sweet for that. But that doesn’t make it a throw out movie either, and it’s certainly a nice one for those brain-dead, exhausted nights (yes, that was my state when I watched it last). It provides a genuine chuckle or two and an hour and a half of pleasant diversion, which is really all that’s necessary sometimes, right? Right. It also features a winning turn from Spencer Breslin (as in Abigail’s brother, yes) who, along with Lily Tomlin as a sassy, deadpan secretary, steals the show.
The Kid is the story of Russ Durritz (Bruce Willis), a high-powered, successful, ridiculously wealthy “image consultant” who, when the movie begins, is being hounded by an old-timey red airplane. When it almost gives him a buzz cut with its propellers one day, Russ starts to get worried. Is somebody after him?
Then, he gets home, and there’s this chubby kid running around his unbelievably sleek bachelor pad. What is going on?
Russ, being the jerk that he is (and this being the Disney movie that it is, “jerk” is about the nastiest title he receives, though he deserves worse), calls up his longsuffering assistant, Janet (Lily Tomlin), at three in the morning demanding an upgrade on his security system. After all, if a rotund youngster can weasel his way in, Russ must need something extra—like Rottweilers. Yeah. Really big, mean ones whose trainers are afraid to go near them. I love the way Janet repeats, “Really big, mean Rottweilers” into the phone as she pretends to write it down.
It’s a rather tall order, but we’re asked to believe that Russ is such a control freak that he would actually chase a kid riding bicycle in his Porsche. I think most people would be glad to be rid of the small intruder and let him off the hook. But not Russ. And when the kid shows up again, this time eating Russ’s popcorn and watching his TV, well, that’s just it. And then, and then, Russ discovers he has a few things in common with little Rusty (yeah, you read that right). Such as a birthmark that’s shaped the same in precisely the same location on both their necks, a matching scar on their shins, and a shiver-inducing ability to crack their knuckles by simply flexing their fingers.
So, who is Rusty? Why, he’s Russ at almost 8-years-old, of course. Grown up Russ is almost forty, and let’s just say that, although adult Russ thinks he should be, kid Rusty is not impressed with how his life has turned out. In fact, once he discovers that, thirty-two years later, he hasn’t even gotten the dog (Chester) that he always wanted, he flops down on the couch and wails, “When I grow up, I’m a loser! A dogless, chickless loser!”
He’s right, really, but Russ isn’t too keen on himself as a child either. All he sees is a pudgy, awkward, little guy who talks like he has a “mouth full of spit.” Of course, Amy, Russ’s…something (I never did quite figure out what position she holds, but she is his employee in some respect), thinks that little Rusty is adorable and a significant improvement on the version she’s forced to deal with every day. (Emily Mortimer as Amy is, as usual, charming and winsome).
The Kid's greatest strengths lie in its performances, minus Bruce Willis, who alternately over and under-acts. It even features the inimitable Jean Smart as a Southern cream pie of an L.A. news anchor whose “y’all” and big, blonde hair are her trademarks. But the movie is less successful when it attempts to moralize and psychoanalyze the way that Russ has evolved from a sweet, albeit hapless, child into a cold, self-centered, well, jerk.
The happy ending is hardly earned, but I wouldn’t have minded it so much if the overwhelmingly sappy score that blares throughout the movie (I hadn’t noticed it before my most recent viewing, but I couldn’t stop noticing it this time) hadn’t swelled to such a screeching crescendo that I wasn’t given a moment to enjoy the dollop of true sweetness that lies at the center of this big sugar-puff.
Bottom line? If you watch The Kid for its solid performances and snappy dialogue and not for its plot and make sure to bring along a childlike attitude that matches its title, I think you’ll like it very much, indeed.
Until next Wednesday, stay picky. Your mind will thank you later!
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