PG | Rottentomatoes.com Rating: 96% | 1987 |
| Mild action/peril, mild, brief language | Picky Flicks Quote: "Often copied...but never equaled." -James Berardinelli | RUNTIME: 1 hrs. 42 mins. |
Visit:www.screenit.com for complete details | Movie Mood:  Blissful |
I’m not sure what I’ve been waiting for exactly or why the time is suddenly right, but tonight is the night I’m reviewing one of my favorite movies of all time: The Princess Bride.
Now, if many of you are still reading, it’s probably just out of courtesy and politeness considering that you probably can quote it just as well as I can. But if, by some freakish accident, you haven’t seen this cinematic gift to mankind, please bolt from your chair this moment and, without breaking too many traffic laws (squeaking through yellow lights is not a crime, people), screech over to your local video store and rent (heck, buy if they’ve got it; you’ll love it…you’d better at least) The Princess Bride.
I’ve never seen a movie quite like it, nor do I ever expect this film’s particular brand of zany genius to ever be fully duplicated.
But that’s probably because it’s got it all: “fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles...”
And did I mention quotability? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the line, “Anybody want a peanut?” and from how many different mouths, but it never ceases to bring a smile to my lips.
So, clearly this is less of a review and more of a fawning session, but the old PB and I go WAAAAY back—going on twenty years, in fact—which ups the nostalgia factor just a smidge. But that’s not to say that this movie couldn’t stand up on its own merits in the face of a PB virgin. Oh no, it would stand tall and puff-chested with a smirk on its face that said, “I dare you to dislike me.”
So, why is it so great—outside of that true love and miracles bit, of course?
Well, quite honestly, the movie’s premise speaks for itself. It’s the story of a huffy, spoiled, not easily pleased preteen who’s stuck in bed sick and thinks that playing video games is the ultimate time-passer. That is until Grandpa shows up to pinch his cheek (the kid “hates that”) and read him a story—something the kid is prepared to suffer through, but only just.
Color him surprised then, when, after a rocky start that involves kissing (ew!)—among other schmaltziness such as a farm boy whose only words are, “As you wish,” (code for, “I love you”) in response to a beautiful girl’s every demand—the kid finds himself inexorably hooked by the book’s unabashed adventure and romance. So much so that when he gets too involved and Grandpa threatens to put the book aside to avoid over-excitement, Mr. Too-Cool-For-School promises to be good if he’ll only keep reading.
So, if this kid can get sucked in, how could we not? Who doesn’t love a little old-fashioned romance and adventure, right? But here’s what makes The Princess Bride truly special: it manages to indulge in sweeping fantasies while making fun of them at the same time. We truly want Westley, the farm boy, and Buttercup, the princess (yes, you read that right), to end up together. And Westley'S and Inigo “You killed my father, prepare to die” Montoya’s duel is truly thrilling.
Even so, all of the drama is outdone by the clever dialogue, the unusual twists that gently mock the conventions of epic adventures—the “Battle of Wits,” anyone?—and the flat-out silliness of Miracle Max, and his lady, Valerie (“I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!”).
If you haven’t seen The Princess Bride, I could try to explain the plot to you: how there’s a farm boy who accidentally becomes a pirate in the process of trying to make a living so he can marry Buttercup, the most beautiful woman in the earth who is coerced into (almost) marrying a buffoonish prince who plans to murder her on their wedding night so he’ll have an excuse to start a war. Then, I could mention the Spaniard who considers himself the greatest swordsman in all the world because he has practiced his whole life in hopes of finding the six-fingered man who took his father’s life and how the farm boy cum pirate ends up mostly dead and needs a chocolate-covered pill from the aforementioned miracle man to brings him back to life (mostly: “You think a little head-jiggle is supposed to me happy, hmm?”). And I wouldn’t forget to describe the Fire Swamp which houses such wonders as ROUSes (Rodents of Unusual Size, of course) and lightning sand…But I think you’d just end up confused and a little worried about my sanity.
So, I won’t do any of that plot summary nonsense. I’ll just lay a simple request at your feet: “Watch it, please.” It will thrill your heart, engage your mind, and tickle the tar out of your funny bone.
And with that hearty endorsement, I must abruptly end my review. Why abruptly? Well, I could go on, but it really has been a while, and I think I need to sign off so I can get a PB fix before I go into full-blown withdrawals.
Until next Wednesday, stay picky! Your mind will thank you later.
P.S. If you haven’t read the book, do that too, please. It puts the movie in a whole new light and is its own unique delight.
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